Tracee Ellis Ross Gets All the Way Real About Marriage and Kids, But the Internet Is Split

Tracee Ellis Ross is making it abundantly clear that she’s not going to be boxed into societal expectations when it comes to getting married and having children. But her latest views have the internet split on how they feel about it. Let’s talk about it!

Recently, Ross sat down as the latest guest on Trevor Noah’s “What Now?” podcast, where she discussed her dating life and her views on partnership. Specifically, she pushed back on the idea of women having to be lesser versions of themselves once they’re in relationships, when they get to be as expansive and multi-faceted any other time.

“You can’t think that I’m gonna be the prize on your arm and be that thing when in my life, I get to fly like an eagle every day. And be as big as I wanna be and as small as I wanna be and as sexy as I wanna be. To do all of this and then I’m just gonna cook and?” Ross questioned. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m a caretaker, and I’m gonna cook for you. But not because you expect it, not because you want it.”

She went on to express how she refused to be put in a box and explained how women have to put up with a societal, patriarchal, and misogynistic norm that pushes women to define themselves by their relationship status and whether or not they have children. But as far as the “American Fiction” star is concerned, she’s making an intentional choice to break out of that mode.

Related: Tracee Ellis Ross Finally Spills the Tea on How She Really Feels About Being Single and Child-Free

“I won’t subscribe to it. I don’t. My life is wonderful, and I experience loneliness. And I want a partner. And I might not find one. But I’m not gonna make that mean something about me,” she explained.

Ross later mentioned a grand epiphany she had after filming her popular sitcom, “Girlfriends.” Specifically, she shared that her character, Joan (a successful lawyer), had spent her entire arc waiting to be chosen by a partner and that subconsciously bled into Ross’ real life. Over time, she came to realize that she, too, was the chooser and that she didn’t have to revolve her whole life around getting a partner.

“I don’t have to sit around making a life so I get chosen. I’m also the person looking for a partner,” she said in part.

And while some viewers felt like her stance was refreshing and praised her for getting to this point in her life, for others online—they weren’t having it and felt as if Ross was so happy being single, she ought to stop making it a consistent talking point.

“If it didn’t define her she wouldn’t talk about it so much,” said one user on X/Twitter.

“She’s been crying about it for ages. If she’s not bothered, why is she always wailing? Let it be and speak on how you enjoy your singlehood?” said another.

One other user wrote: “She gotta go on and get a regular salary man with a good personality and call it quits. Tired of hearing her talk about this.”

Added another, “These women just makes this stuff up in their heads. This is not how Western men behave for God’s sakes, they’ve convinced themselves of this BS out of the thin air. How do you reason with made up nonsense like this that so many women truly believe?”