To Every Black Man Still Negotiating With His Hairline: Let It Go

Stephen A. Smith and Don Lemon are successful, accomplished Black men who have reached a point where their hairlines appear to be negotiating an exit strategy. And yet, the hair remains.

This isn’t about shaming SAS, Lemon, or even Stevie Wonder. (I know Mr. Songs in the Key of Life can’t see, but he has to feel his head and know what’s going on up there.) This is about Black men holding on to hair long after it has made it clear that it no longer wants to participate.

It’s time to have an uncomfortable conversation. One that is overdue. This won’t take long.

Men love to talk about women being obsessed with youth. We criticize them for getting Botox, fillers, cosmetic surgery, and whatever else they do as they attempt to keep looking younger. But let’s keep it 100. Black men are chasing youth, too.

Related: Lessons Black Men Need to Unlearn About Fatherhood

We dye our hair, get hair transplants (looking at you Coach Prime), obsess over our bodies, and sometimes dress like we are still waiting for our first album to drop. The desire to look young isn’t a woman thing. It is a human thing.

There is a particular pressure on Black men to look like we have not aged. Part of that comes from the way masculinity is often tied to physical strength and virility. Research on Black masculinity has found that those expectations can create insecurity around the body and appearance. And aging threatens all of that.

The gray hairs start to show; the stomach gets harder to hide; the hairline starts backing up like it owes somebody money, and suddenly a man who has spent decades projecting confidence is negotiating with his own reflection. That’s why our obsession with looking young deserves more attention.

Let me give it to you straight. Sometimes the bravest thing a Black man can do is admit he is getting older.

There is nothing wrong with gray hair, wrinkles, or a bald head. In fact, many women find it attractive when a man looks his age and is comfortable with it. That’s why folks have been thirsting over silver foxes. (It’s a thing. Trust me.)

Taking care of yourself is one thing. (Side note: Black men, we need to go to the gym and watch what we eat at any age.) But trying desperately to look 25 when you are 50 is a whole other thing.

Look good. Stay healthy. Practice self care. But let yourself age.

The same refusal to admit the body is changing is why some Black men skip going to the doctor. We have the lowest life expectancy of any major U.S. demographic group, lowest rates of preventive screening. If you can’t say out loud that the hairline is going, you’re not booking the PSA test either.

So Black men: if the hairline is halfway to the equator, stop trying to negotiate with it. We are not like our non-melanated brothers who need a toupee or a combover when we start going thin up top. (Though Steve Harvey thought he was fooling somebody with that mop he had on top of his head in the late ’90s.)

And breaking news: We actually look good bald. Michael Jordan taught us that a chrome dome can be sexy way back in the 90s.

Just look at how women talk about Shemar Moore and Morris Chestnut. Whether you’re fair-skinned or dark-skinned, there is a good chance that if you’re Black, you will look good bald.

So, embrace the changes that life brings and age gracefully. Don’t go out like Bron. He ain’t fooling nobody with that low haircut.