Phylicia Rashad Reveals Why She Was Jealous of Sister Debbie Allen Growing Up

Phylicia Rashad is opening up about the jealousy she felt toward her sister, Debbie Allen, when they were younger. The Tony Award-winning actress recalled that colorism and comments she heard from members of her own family shaped her view of herself and her relationship with her younger sister.

Rashad shared the surprising personal story in a new interview with former First Lady Michelle Obama and her brother Craig Robinson on their popular podcast. During the conversation, the “The Cosby Show” star was asked whether there were any feelings of competition between her and Allen and, if so, what positive things their parents put in place to keep those feelings at bay. That’s when Rashad shared that while she never felt as if her sister was her competitor, she envied her for a different reason.

“I think if there was any competition that I felt, I always felt that Debbie was beautiful and I was not,” Rashad said.

Related: For Colored Girls … Who Need to Talk About Colorism

She went on to say that those feelings stayed with her until they were both young adults and living together in an apartment in New York City. One year, however, the opportunity came for them to talk about it over the Christmas holiday after they discovered that they both had bought earrings as a gift for the other—despite them agreeing on not exchanging gifts that year.

Although Rashad couldn’t remember why they were talking about jealousy and looks, she used the moment to finally open up to her sister about her thoughts and feelings.

“I said to Deborah that I had always wanted to be beautiful, like her. And she looks at me and says, ‘But you’re the beautiful one! I was always trying to be beautiful like you!’” Rashad said. “And then we broke down and started crying!”

Allen then chimed in, offering that Rashad’s feelings may have stemmed from familial taunting and comments around colorism.

“We grew up with that foolishness, that colorism foolishness, because, you know, that brown paper bag foolishness. And I remember one time Phylicia loved chocolate milk, and we were drinking chocolate milk, and my uncle said to her, ‘Girl, you better drink all the WHITE MILK you can,’” Allen revealed. “And wow, that was so ugly. It was really ugly. And I think that’s why Phylicia felt [the way she did]—but Phylicia looked more like mama than me. And I wished I was always pretty like her. Always, always.”

Hearing about the dynamic between these two insanely talented sisters and Rashad’s confession gets at something bigger than sibling rivalry: how deeply colorism can shape the way Black girls learn to see themselves and each other. For generations, Black women have been bombarded with messages suggesting that lighter skin and other Eurocentric standards of beauty make you more desirable or valuable.

Unfortunately, colorism has been embedded in the Black community for generations, and those messages don’t just disappear when you grow up—they can shape how we see ourselves, our sisters, and other women we’re supposed to see as beautiful. Sadly, Allen and Rashad’s story is a reminder of just how early those ideas can take root. Check out their full interview below.